Wicked Wicked Wicked

July 27, 2007

Darth Vader itu!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Antz @ 2:09 pm

Madaming mega ask (oo as in madami, care nyo ba kung ilan.. hehehe..) why ako nagpa-carry over to the dark side. As in why ako tumikim ng poison, why ako nagpakasal sa mga kalaban. In short, kung blue blooded girl ako, bakit ako nagpaka-lesbyana at na-in love sa isang girlalu.

Well well well noelle, hindi itu madaling topic. Wala akong single reason why. Subukan ko, and all I can come up iz – na-in luv ang lola mo. Wirizima ko knows why, but nung na-meet ko itung girlalu, I really felt  I wanna be with her, not just yung tipong bading-girlfriend kinda way. Eh dagdagan mo pa na wa sya cares kung mega-pilantik ang mga pinkies ng lola mo. Mega-date date lang kami. Syempre, habang lumalalim ang relationship, davah dapat dumating yung point na prankahan na! So mega-amin akez ng aking past (and future? ahihihi! spank me!) life, and although nag-ala Enteng Kabisote (as in we butingting everything) ang lola ko for some time, eventually oks na sa kanya. O di ba, wa sya cares what I did before? Na-touch akez. Eto pa. Mejo ilang taon na din kami un, dumating itong boylet sa aking buhay. Nasa kanya lahat ng hinahanap ko sa boylet. Girlalu din sya, pero tulad kong discreet. Hindi closetta ha, discreet. Cute, may utak naman, may kinabukasan. In short, winner talaga. Eh na-feel kong type din nya ako. Grabe, wiz mo gusto malaman ang pinag-daanan kong emotional turmoil. Knows naman ni boylet ang aking situation, pero I told him I was willing to give up my relationship for him. Dito lumabas ang breeding ng boylet ko. Sabi nya ayaw nyang dahil sa kanya eh masira lahat ng ni-build ko with my GF. Alam naman daw nya na loves ko ang girl (to which I thought, semi-devilishly, eh kaya nga willing ako i-give up davah?? Di mo ba gets??), and mdami na kami pinagdaanan ni GF. Pero mega-semi-break pa rin ako kay GF. Mga ilang days/weeks ata yun. And ang mga BFF ni GF, na knows how bait I am, told my GF na seryoso na itu. Na hindi ako basta basta break without a serious reason. Pero habang break kami ni GF, wiz naman ako go out into the sunset holding hands with my boylet. Wiz. I just wanted time to sort things out. Yakapin ang pagkabading through and through, or kaya ko bang bading pero may GF? At one point, I thought if I went for GF, dine-deny ko ang aking sarili. But, eventually, I thought, hindi ko dine-deny ang aking sarili. I am just following my heart, da vah? I can be bading, but in love with a girl. And not having boylets is the same as kung may BF ako, and not having other boylets on the side, davah? It’s called fidelity, I believe.

So, mega-emotional usap kami nun ni GF, and I told her everything as in everything. Na bading akez, and I can’t change that. But I promise na I won’t act on it, meaning pag kami, watashing monkey business. Sya lang ang aking partner for life. And that’s all she wanted.  And I respect her for that, especially pinaglaban nya akez sa family nya, who at one point, told her face to face na bading ang BF nya. Ang saket, davah? Pero pinaglaban nya yun. Tingnan mo naman, vindicated ang lola mo. She has the most comfortable life sa ngayon among her mga shopatids. And magaganda ever ang mga junakis namin (who, contrary to what you might think, I won’t groom to be Ms. U). And I’m happy (except, as some of you might know from past posts, dumadating lang yung time of self-doubt, and kati. hahahaha!). I really am.

I think I see now vhakit nagpa-dark side si Anakin Skywalker.

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3 Comments »

  1. Gush!

    I thought I’m all alone.. While reading your blog as if i was just reading my own life.

    Go on sister tell us more.

    Comment by justme22 — October 10, 2007 @ 9:38 am

  2. Akala ko din I was alone. Nice to know someone can relate. Sister sana magkaroon tayo ng correspondence…

    Comment by Antz — October 13, 2007 @ 11:08 pm

  3. Somehow i missed the point. Probably lost in translation 🙂 Anyway … nice blog to visit.

    cheers, Horticulturalist
    .

    Comment by Horticulturalist — June 18, 2008 @ 4:26 pm


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