Wicked Wicked Wicked

April 26, 2007

tatay-ness

Filed under: Uncategorized — Antz @ 9:22 pm

ang hirap maging tatay. lalo na siguro sa sitwasyon kong andaming what-if’s.

syempre, stressed sa office, tapos since wala namang katulong, pag-uwi sa bahay, mega-asikaso pa din ng chores. plus spend quality time with your kids. and then, makakatanggap ka from time to time ng tawag na para kang ombudsman na tagatanggap ng reklamo, dahil yung asawa mo suko na sa mga anak mo. in furrnezz, nakakapagod din ang routine. masaya ang may inuuwiang anak at asawa. pero minsan, parang nao-overpower na ng daily grind.

especially since at the back of my mind, andaming could’ve beens. i could’ve been single and gay. akin ang oras ko, akin ang moolah ko. matutulungan ko ang mga gusto kong tulungan (shades of Pooh ba nagpapaaral ng mga boys? ahihihi!), mabibili ko ang gusto kong mabili. pwedeng magpakamot at mangamot, you only have to answer to yourself (and sa konsensya mo).

minsan (at dumadalas), napapa-isip ako. masakit aminin, pero naiisip ko if I made a mistake. dapat bang sinige-sige ko na at niyakap ang aking pagkabading at nagpaka-single for life na lang? but there’s too many happy times para magsisi ako. meron lang talagang times i feel so overwhelmed. and those are the times na parang gusto kong bumalik ng time, and change everything. gusto ko nang sumuko, sumigaw, lumayas, magmukmok, umiyak. Just once, gusto ko uling umikot ang mundo ko around me.

Pero may mga bata pang kailangang bantayan, mga boteng dapat linisin, mga kalat na dapat ligpitin, at mga damit na dapat labahan.

Saka na…

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2 Comments »

  1. nice blog u have here…i havent read all but i think one of these pag nasa office na ako at tamadtamaran..ill read all the post….

    ganyan talaga ang life we have our doubts in everything we do…something like..what could have happened if i did that or if i did not…sometimes we just have to move on and live life the way it is…

    pero sympre we all have our own set of problems…our own set of responsibilities….our own set of doubts…and out own set of belief….but despite this we all have the same thing…that every problems…always have a solution…we wouldnt be given something that we cant go through with or something that we cant deal with…

    just smile…be happy…and everything around you will be the same..always expect that tomorrow is a new day…a new hope….a new life…:)

    red

    Comment by red_hot — June 24, 2007 @ 10:30 am

  2. wow. sobrang tinamaan ako sa post na to. hindi ko alam, wala naman akong anak o asawa o kahit gf at the moment pero sobrang tumagos sa akin ang katapatan ng post mo. sana matutunan mo ring maging kaligayahan ang pamilya mo. alam kong mahirap maging totoo lalo na kung para sa pamilya mo kaya i wish you happiness and contentment. i’m a fan 🙂 continue writing 🙂

    Comment by indichrome — July 3, 2007 @ 5:09 am


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